ALTERNATIVE HISTORY (BENITO: THE ITALIAN STALLION)

Benito paces the room, obviously worried. The past months have been characterized with series of misfortunes; from an ill-thought alliance with the Nazis, to the internal partisan conflict that has engulfed the city, and now Hitler is not happy with him.

Clara Petacci doesn’t look too happy herself, and this is because she knows that an unhappy Benito leads to rough sex, and rough sex makes young mistresses like her sore. She tries to cheer him up, calling his little Benito “my giant”, even when it is always as flaccid as a granny’s breast half of the time they make love. But he likes it though, when she praises his little Benito. And as she starts to caress his thighs and kiss his ear lobes, Benito tells her about the plan to flee Milan, especially now that Hitler is displeased.

But Clara Petacci is scared, she would do anything for the D but not this Flaccid one . And she did not leave her comfortable family to die like a commoner, mistress of an impotent fascist dictator, history wouldn’t be kind to her. So she tells Benito about the plan, and they telephone Luigi, the lunatic surgeon. Luigi is a surgeon that no one takes seriously . Luigi readily buys the idea of using doubles and even volunteered to find the doubles. The only demand he makes is to be the surgeon to perform the surgery to twist their faces. So he finds a couple at a close sheep-rearing village, proceeds, and soon it’s hello to an uglier version of Benito and Clara. And Luigi leads them to the German convoy which was to pass through Dongo.

Later that day in the news, at a cheap-ass motel, they watch the world celebrate the death of their doubles, their mutilated bodies on display at Piazzale Loreto. And for the first time in twenty years, Benito sheds sincere tears. For Italy and for the world  that would always remember him as the mad dictator, they never liked him; Clara was the only one who ever did. So he shifts closer and holds her slender body, thinking about the plastic surgery scheduled for both of them tomorrow with that stupid lunatic Luigi, like who derives pleasure from cutting people up? God save them.