make the first move

WOMEN MAKING THE THE FIRST MOVE

Women making the first move is long overdue, and has led to a lot of crossed signals and long debates on whether her coming over to a man’s place is a sign that she wants sex or whether constantly laughing at his jokes is a precedent for consent. Women need to start making the first move when they like a guy or want a deeper commitment, and be clear about what they want from him. The days of sitting haplessly in a corner throwing out smoke signals and hoping that he will be perceptive enough to see them should be left in the dust.

Let us put the flirty smiles and touches and sighs and pretend “injuries” (a la Joromi) aside, please. If we should be taken seriously on the subject of consent, we need to start being clear about our intentions. The ambiguity is hurting the cause of women’s sexual rights.

You don’t need to wonder why you should make the first move, we have a butt-load of reasons(well, just a few, but you will get the gist) to guide you on your way.

IT SAVES TIME

Honestly, sometimes you just need to grab the bull by the horns or you two are never going to get anywhere. Some men are so phlegmatic that by the time he makes up his mind you might have already moved on. Just take the plunge and ask him out already, please!

WHAT IF HE IS SHY?

Shy guys, the staple of every high school movie: with an attractive girl and a blubbering, clueless and painfully shy  teen boy obsessed with her. While it is cute on the screen, your life is not a Disney movie. If he is too shy, make things easier for him by approaching him. He will be relieved and you would have taken a first step in letting him know that you will always speak up when he cannot.

IT SCREAMS CONFIDENCE, AND CONFIDENCE IS SEXY

Is there anything hotter than a confident woman? I don’t think so! Watch his eyes light up when you pop the question. Your confidence will only put off the wrong kind of man, the type you shouldn’t be with anyway. A man who is secure in his masculinity will appreciate your gesture and it will raise your esteem in his eyes.

YOU MAKE AN EMPOWERING MOVE

Do it for the culture! Do it for the younger women who look up to you for guidance. Do it because it makes a statement on your view of life and your esteem of yourself. Take your destiny in your hands and make things happen, instead of waiting for them to happen to you.

YOU SET A PRECEDENT FOR THE RELATIONSHIP

When he knows that you are a go-getter, and that you will not keep your desires and wants silent, he respects you. If he knows that being with you was not just his choice but also yours, there is a mutual respect and understanding that your relationship will enjoy.

Don’t just ask him out or proposition him and then sit back, waiting for him to do all the work. You have taken a proactive step, and you need to follow it up. Pick a venue, set a date, take him out for a fun activity and cover the bills. He will know you mean business.

As a side note; being a strong, confident woman should also mean that you are capable of taking rejection gracefully. Not every man will want you, and you should be okay with that. If he says no, shake hands and part as friends. There is no need to start an ugly thread on twitter just because your ego is hurt. Let us help to be a part of the solution to sexual entitlement, and not perpetuate the problem. There should be no allowance for double standards.