pillow talk


We’ve talked about sex, relationships, misconceptions surrounding sexual relationships, and sexuality, now let’s talk about the aftermath: pillow talk!

Okay, first of all we are not trying to tell you what to do. If you are the type that rolls over and goes to sleep and before your partner wakes up in the morning  you have already disappeared into the day’s activities, by all means continue to do so if it works for you. Don’t let my talk of what pillow talk should be about cramp your style.

I, however, am a firm proponent of the kissing and the cuddling and the whispered sweet nothings that come with the bedroom territory. There is a certain intimacy in the air after sex, a mutual understanding of each other that is soon lost when reality comes crashing down on you both and you have to continue with your lives. While you are in that love bubble, that is the time to consolidate your relationship and talk about the intimate things that get swept under the carpet in day-to-day living.


Yes, talk about you. You and them. Them. This could be the time to remember the fun and funny things that have happened between and to you two and laugh about them. Talking about these shared experiences builds trust and intimacy between a couple, cementing their love for each other.


During pillow talk is the perfect time to express your feelings for each other, when you two are so open and receptive and open. It is the time to apologise sweetly for wrongs and accept apologies graciously. It is the time to reignite the feelings and commitment that made you fall for them in the first place. Remember those sweet nothings? Let them hear them, nothing sounds silly in the love bubble. You will find that sometimes saying those things out loud outside the bedroom will only make you look ridiculous.


What do you dream about the most? Would you choose to die rather than kill me? What’s your biggest fear? What would you do if I died? Why did you choose me?

These questions seem silly and trivial, but the are important. They give you a glimpse into the true nature of your partner and makes you understand them better. You are made more vulnerable around each other, and there is an increased openness between you two.


Talk about the projects you are excited about, the causes that move you, no matter what it is. Is there a great new project at work that you are really looking forward to starting? Is there something new and mind-blowing you learned? Pillow talk should bring you two into each other’s lives even more, and make you understand the things that interests your partner.


Discuss where the relationship is going, that vacation you have been talking about, plans you two have made together. While you talk about the future and the plans you two have made to be in each other’s lives, you reassure each other that you will be around, and you will be there for them through it all.

See how great pillow talk can be if you do it right?