CONSENT IS EVERYTHING.

Before you read this, let me remind you that sex without consent is rape. And rape is wrong.

Consent is a process, it is not stamped, it doesn’t come with a lifetime guarantee. And just like every process, it can end before it even started, or midway through the process. It is basically about communication.

Getting too confusing for you? It shouldn’t. Consent is being allowed the freedom to agree to sexual activity with someone. Consent doesn’t do well with assumptions; so don’t assume she/he is consenting because she doesn’t scold you for groping her, or say anything to you as you caress his chest.

The person initiating sex is responsible for getting consent, don’t blindly conclude that he/she wants the same thing you do, most people are often disgusted with your sexual advances that they don’t say anything, and then you take their silence to mean consent. Silence or a “no” does not mean he/she consents to the activity.

Consent starts the moment she/he verbally agrees to have sex with you, along with her/his body language too, without coercion of course.  And he or she is free to change his/her mind, and you only have to comply.But consent is not just verbal or expressed through body language, consent has to be legal too. And sex with a minor even when consensual is still wrong, bear that in mind.

Also, consent goes hand in hand with sanity, with a sound mind; mentally unstable people cannot give consent, drunk or unconscious people cannot give consent. This reminds me of the drama that accompanied the Kemen and T-boss saga (from Big Brother Naija), where Kemen went to grope an unconscious T-boss. Most people believed it was in order, since they’ve messed around before, while others believed she was only pretending, and kept wondering how someone could still be asleep even while they are being touched. The truth is that consent is constant, the fact that your partner consented to sex earlier or few minutes ago doesn’t mean she/he has already consented to do it with you again.

In addition, when a girl/boy agrees to visit your house it doesn’t automatically mean she/he has agreed to have sex with you, and the rules don’t change even if you both are in a relationship. As for married couples, don’t assume that marriage overrides consent, consent is still a valid item even in marriages.

I believe the term consent may be ambiguous, but the fact remains that no is no, no would never change to yes along the line, and no means you should stop. And consent in the past does not mean consent in the future.