Sex is mythical; coming to life through different versions and famed conclusions, and include some of the things you learnt from those Mills and Boon novels you sneak under your bed to read. And when you finally get around to doing it, please don’t scream bullocks, don’t feel betrayed that no one warned you it would be a big pile of WTF??? Yeah, those romance novels are the best scam of the century, we all know.

With the evolution of sex comes a certain level of triviality; where sex is meant to be seen as nothing special, hence the use of terms like “casual sex” and “open relationships”.

Sex is perfect-A big lie! Perfect doesn’t even qualify people who engage in it, forget those shirtless hairy guys, and their faux sensualita. It is not even magical, so forgot the so symmetrical lovemaking Harlequin Novels promote. The only adjectives to qualify it would be “good”, “nice”, and “fair”. It only becomes more than just these adjectives when there are certain emotions involved. And don’t confuse this sincerity for cynicism, take it from a trap queen.

Sex is over-rated-So over-the-top-rated. This is a conclusion you arrive at after you must have gone ahead to pop the cherry and know what the fuss is all about. It is worse when your first man is a “one-minute” man who climbs and deflates before you say “oh no”. When it’s good it’s good, when it’s bad it’s bad, don’t expect too much.

Penis size matters-Most women would say size matters, but I say it should’t. It shouldn’t even be a problem to be debated on, I just want to see what you can do with the little you have. Having a large trunk thrashing in your privates is the last thing I pray for anybody, even my enemies. Value performance today.

Sex decreases your worth-I get particularly angry when people, especially men say this. Most of them believe that a woman’s worth reduces when she has many sexual partners, and they promote this belief with expressions like “a too wide-vagina” or even “public toilet”. Sex is just sex, it doesn’t change anything. And a woman’s worth isn’t tied to her vagina, stop being such a Neanderthal.

Women achieve orgasms through penetration alone-Half true! Some women do, while others don’t. So don’t believe a man’s pounding alone will do the magic. All women are not the same, study her body and know what sets her off. The key here is stimulation and pleasure, shikena! And you can thank me later.

Woman love rough sex- That’s what you get from being addicted to porn. This is the biggest misconception of all, so drop your addictions, your “Ay Papi” entitlements and get to know how your partner likes it. It’s not rocket science, stop being such a hulk with no brains.