WHAT THE HELL IS THIS STATUE DEBACLE ABOUT?

So, at a time when Nigerians are being killed in xenophobic attacks in South Africa (most of them easterners, if we’re being frank about our enterprising brothers and their propensity for finding greener pastures no matter how nefariously), a Governor in a South-Eastern state decides not just to erect a 50 million-naira statue of Jacob Zuma, but to name a street after him and confer a chieftaincy title on him.

Let me take a moment to laugh uproariously. No, I am not crying, my eyes are trying to clean themselves out after reading yet another shameful account of what is becoming just another incident of gross mismanagement of power and state funds in this country.

How we must look to other nations looking in at the spectacle we make of ourselves every day! It seems like having a background in ironic comedy has become a criteria for being elected to office in this dear old country of ours.  Rochas Okorocha has starving citizens, bad roads, a terrible economy and electricity to deal with but no, it is a greater priority to blow state funds on this white elephant project. Zuma’s foundation and Okorocha’s foundation are signing a Memorandum of Understanding, a transaction between two private organisations, which is fine. Why did he involve the state?

Remember the gigantic and overpriced multi-million Christmas tree from last year? No? Neither do I, I had to perform a lobotomy to forget that.

What has Jacob Zuma done to deserve honour by Imo State or this country? How are the relations between his country and ours? Are our youths not being slaughtered in his streets? Did he sponsor scholarships? A grant maybe? Did he contribute to the GDP of Imo State in even a tiny way?

No? Then what the hell is this about?

I am afraid to ask what the covered, yet-to-be-unveiled statues flanking Zuma are, or what artistic project the Imo State government is contemplating next. An elegant, larger than life (naturally) Trump painting in the Government House? An engraving of Putin on the State flag? A nice bust of Hitler gracing the Dan Anyiam stadium?

By the way, I hope they ask for some change back because that statue is just some sloppy workmanship. Total amateur hour on the fonts, by the way.

How else will he top this idiocy? Who is next on the comedy lineup that is our political scene?

This being Nigeria, you might not have to wait further than next week.