I had just gone online to do my usual winchy winchy amebo on Facebook, and everybody suddenly starts talking about Monkey Pox. Like what is it with Nigeria and animal related diseases, which animal god did we offend? The other time it was Bird flu, from Bird flu to Lassa fever, and now it’s Monkey Pox. Are they trying to turn us all into vegetarians or what sef? And the no body contact again, they want people’s children to die from lack of cuddles? yepa!

But seriously, i believe these strange outbreaks are not merely co-incidents.

Help! Some biological terrorist somewhere is trying to reduce our population.

Or is it just another propaganda being pushed by these new age ecoactivists? you know,something like the Chibok girls’ saga? Nigerians and their love for free meat though, please help preserve our monkeys. (~ ~)

And why always Africa? And why now? This disease just like Ebola was first discovered in Africa, thought to have gone extinct years later, and suddenly emerges in 2017 to hello and hi us? Something does not add up. But the disease is here already.

So to the fuck ladies and gents out there, be careful! Note that this disease can be contracted from small touching body and body fluid. And to the bushmeat lovers, learn to preserve the wild. Your long throat haf do.

Who knows, the next disease outbreak might be connected to seafood. Trust these mammywaters.