Following the outcry over the hilarious and not-yet-understood creatin of a Commissioner for Happiness and Couples’ Fulfillment in Imo State, the governor, Rochas Okorocha has spoken up.

First, he blamed a printer for the name of the ministry. Yes, a printer.

According to the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor, Mr Sam Onwuemeodo, a printing error was the brain behind the name of the ministry. He said, “there was a typographic error in the first statement issued on the swearing in of the new commissioners. The word “Couple” was inadvertently written, instead of the word “Purpose,” we regret that.

Okay, so it’s Purpose Fulfillment and not Couples’ Fulfillment. Purpose is only marginally better than Couple. We understa…nope, we still don’t get it.

To clarify things for us less informed masses, the Press Chief spoke for the Governor on the real purpose of the ministry. Mr. Onwuemeodo says:

The real essence of life is to be happy and to fulfill one’s purpose in life. Government officials are elected to address this.This is the very reason people elect their leaders to guarantee their happiness and purpose fulfillment.

There is no activity of mankind that is not geared towards providing happiness. Unfortunately, this vital element of our social lives has not been properly addressed. Governments at different levels have created several ministries and departments to achieve this, yet people are bitter, angry with hate speeches which lead to crisis, war and even terrorism. In today’s world, especially in our country, millions of people are not fulfilling their purpose in life because of lack of mentorship and guidance. There is complete talent abuse as people no longer engage in life activities suitable to their talents.

Sometimes in university environments, students are meant to study courses they ordinarily would like to do. “This has given rise to why we have people who are favored, do work against their natural will just to survive. “Happiness and Purpose Ministry therefore, is established for the lost time to correct the policy framework to guide Ministries and Department son what they must do to guarantee the citizens happiness and contribute better to the society.

What?! WHAT?!

I’m torn between rancous laughter and a debilitating cringe. What has been described here encompasses the ministry of education, youth development, housing, security…in fact, just about every ministry on the State’s portfolio. So who is fooling who?

Mrs. Ogechi Ololo, the State’s Commissioner for Happiness and Couples’…er, Purpose Fulfillment (and Rochas Okorocha’s sister, but that doesn’t matter), has also spoken up about what she called “ignorance” that has led to the protests by people on her new post. In a telephone interview with BBC Africa, she managed to say a lot of things about her ministry while not making any sense at all. She does not sound happy either!

Wouldn’t workers’ salaries make them happy? Constant electricity? Good roads? Running water? An improved quality of life? Aren’t those things inherently the responsibility of the Governor’s regime? Well, at least the people of Imo State will be happy-even when they are hungry, unemployed, poor and sick.